


Scars + Reflections + Jack

by NatalieRyan



Series: Whumptober 2020 [17]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Day 17, Emotional Whump, Gen, Jack Whump, Scar reveal, Scars, Whump, Whumptober 2020, continuation of Whumptober Day 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27070384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan
Summary: In this continuation of the story for Whumptober day 1 we have Jack come clean to Mac about some of the "gifts" Murdoc left him with when Mac accidentally finds out about one scar that's similar to the one Mac has himself.I am forever grateful for thistle and her idea for what the scars could be, because I needed something memorable and as we know Murdoc never leaves things by halves. Also thank you thistle for the beta.Also thank you SabbyStarlight for helping me with brainstorming for a title, this one was fun to come up with.Without further ado, on to the story.
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Whumptober 2020 [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948579
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Scars + Reflections + Jack

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SabbyStarlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SabbyStarlight/gifts), [N1ghtshade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/gifts).



> In this continuation of the story for Whumptober day 1 we have Jack come clean to Mac about some of the "gifts" Murdoc left him with when Mac accidentally finds out about one scar that's similar to the one Mac has himself.   
> I am forever grateful for thistle and her idea for what the scars could be, because I needed something memorable and as we know Murdoc never leaves things by halves. Also thank you thistle for the beta.   
> Also thank you SabbyStarlight for helping me with brainstorming for a title, this one was fun to come up with.  
> Without further ado, on to the story.

Jack started wearing turtlenecks. Mac didn't really give it much thought before this mission, mostly because when they were at home while Jack was recovering, he wore long sleeves and hoodies because he claimed he was cold in the aftermath of Murdoc kidnapping him and hurting him. 

Mac refused to say the word torture. If he didn't think it, didn't say it, it meant it didn't happen that way. He refused to think of the muffled grunts he was hearing in his nightmares, and also refused to think of all the blood that transferred to his clothes when they finally found Jack and he got to release his partner from being tied up. 

Mac decidedly did not think of the way Jack looked after a nightmare, teary eyed and in so much pain and fear, it rattled Mac to the core. Jack had been tortured before. They both had. But Jack had never looked like he did now. After Murdoc. 

And if Mac was adding the screams and whimpers that accompanied every nightmare to the ever growing list of things that were gonna plague his sleep, no one but him had to know about it. 

It was just weird. To see Jack in turtlenecks, that was. Jack was always running hot, and most times, unless they were on a mission in a cold part of the world, he wore t-shirts. And occasionally jackets. Long sleeved shirts were a thing, sweaters even. But turtlenecks… Mac knew just how much Jack disliked constricting clothes. Especially around the neck. 

And if Mac copied Jack in leaving the top two buttons (sometimes three) of his shirt unbuttoned, that was also only for Mac to know. 

Alas, Mac was going to leave the thought for another time, maybe after they were done running away from the bad guys and they were safe and sound. Because Mac was also curious. And wondering. Feeling constantly cold and in a need to wear warm clothes was definitely not to be disregarded. Besides, what bothered Mac the most was the fact that Jack just kept that during sleep hours. And there was the underlying paranoid feeling Mac had that Jack was hiding something from him. It was just Mac's brain working overtime. Probably wasn't anything for Mac to worry about. 

But the thing was… Mac was on alert ever since they got Jack back. And he was so high strung, he was feeling like he was going to snap any moment. And that just wouldn't do, when it was Jack that got the thicker end of the stick. Jack who got kidnapped, hung and beaten up, whipped, tortured…

They were on the clock, and they had to go through the wall to get on the other side. And Mac knew just what he needed. He just needed Jack's help. 

In the end it was Mac that almost fucked up and got Jack hurt. Well not exactly hurt, more like a slight burn. But Mac was a bit distracted, and he knew it just wouldn't do if he continued like this. 

A talk with Jack after this mission.  _ Yep, that's exactly what I'm gonna do _ , Mac said to himself. 

So the burn. It was a slight mishap, Mac miscalculated the trajectory, the amount of chemicals that he mixed and the wet splat when they made contact with the fabric of Jack's forearm through the long sleeve. 

There was panicked shouting when Mac insisted Jack to take off his shirt and Jack just wouldn't budge. It wasn't until Mac threatened Jack to take it off himself (more like he pleaded with Jack because he was just that desperate to prevent Jack from getting hurt, again, while he was barely healed from last time…) that Jack complied. 

Jack must have seen the look on Mac's face because he obliged. Jack removed the turtleneck. 

Mac froze when he looked at Jack. It was to check for burns, he told himself, but in all actuality it was more than that. 

_ Shit, shit, shit. _

Things were really not working out the way Mac needed them to. 

Mac pinched his wrist to be able to focus. Finish the mission.

He didn't need to look at Jack to know that Jack was aware Mac was avoiding looking at him. That was for the best at the moment. 

Once the hole in the wall (literally) made it possible for them to escape, Mac ran as far as he could before he stopped and his knees buckled. 

He wasn't sure what was happening with him, but he was aware of Jack's arms around him, holding him as Mac was hyperventilating and covering the scar on his neck with his hand. 

Mac knew they were still in danger, that they should move, but it was as if he was stuck in a loop. His brain played the same image in the front of his head. 

_ Jack had an exact same scar replicated on his neck.  _

…

In hindsight, Jack should have known that he was supposed to tell Mac about the scars. He didn't know why he didn't do it while he could. Before Mac figured it out on his own. Before Mac was onto him about always wearing long sleeves and turtlenecks after Murdoc. 

In fact, Jack wondered why Mac didn't say anything before, Jack expected Mac to confront him by now. 

The thing was, he wanted to tell Mac. He really did. But after the initial shock passed, and Jack woke up at the hospital, stitched up and with Mac watching like a hawk over him, his heart squeezed at the haunted look on his partner's face, and Jack couldn't. He couldn't do that to his kid. Add to his self consciousness, to his pain, to his guilt about what happened to Jack.

Jack was really going to have to explain this once they went back home. Once he had Mac calmed down, and hauled in their getaway vehicle, Jack just drove, without stopping, until they reached their exfil. And then it was over before Jack had time to process things.

Mac didn't talk to him, and Jack knew it was his fault. If he didn't just hide the scars… if he just came clean to Mac immediately after, it wouldn't have to feel so stilted, so tense, so constipated. And Jack was determined to talk with Mac. 

Jack knew that Mac was mad at him, that he didn't want to see Jack, and logically Jack knew that he lost the right and he'd need to grovel. But now that Mac was cognizant of Jack's scars, at least the one on his neck, the cat was out of the bag, and Jack would do everything to stop both him and Mac spending a night alone with their brains. 

The kid deserved to know the truth, despite how much it hurt for Jack to tell him, no matter how humiliating it was to be outsmarted by Murdoc, to fall for one of Murdoc's clever tricks and just step right into his intricate web. 

How it felt to be stripped of that part of himself he prided himself with most. For withstanding the torture, but being unable to escape the way Murdoc got under his skin, in Jack's head. 

Something Mac knew all too well. 

Guess this time it was Jack's turn to feel like that. 

Jack gave it a few hours before he drove to Mac's house. Dread filled his gut as he approached the familiar road to Mac's house. He spent lots of days holed up in this very house after they discharged him from the hospital, so he didn't have the need to drive to Mac's place. In fact Mac did the driving. Mostly for Jack to get his stitches out, and for check ups. Mac didn't go by that road Jack normally used. And Jack decided that sooner rather than later was a good time to face what happened. 

And here he was, on the same road, the same exact place where he stopped for the fake car accident. And where he was grabbed, in broad daylight. 

At night, the road looked scarier and driving down it felt more ominous than by daylight and Jack had to stop for a while and take deep breaths. There was something about it, something about how Murdoc played them into his pocket that bothered Jack infinitely. 

And Jack guessed that it was partly the reason why he didn't tell Mac about the scars. 

Jack parked the GTO, and approached the house. He could have easily let himself in with his key, but he didn't want to abuse that trust Mac had in Jack. Especially in these circumstances. 

Jack knocked on Mac's door. He waited for a bit, standing awkwardly before the door opened. 

This was it, Jack was about to unravel himself in front of Mac. He just hoped Mac would let him. 

…

Mac would have felt embarrassed if it wasn't for the fact that Jack was with him. He couldn't have told you the reason why he reacted so badly. Why he panicked. It wasn't like Jack didn't have new scars after leaving for the Kovacs mission. It was just the fact that Mac knew the one on Jack's neck was new,  _ recent _ , and that fucked up with his train of thoughts. And it was so eerily similar to Mac's own that Mac really was shocked. 

And okay, maybe he was a bit distant and didn't talk to Jack like he wanted to, but he needed time to process things, to come to terms with what he learned. 

Mac guessed that the turtlenecks made much more sense now. 

What Mac wanted was to learn why Jack felt the need to hide that from him. Why didn't he trust Mac? And why did he think that Mac would mind a new scar?

There was definitely something going on. And Mac was going to learn about it. He just hoped Jack would be forthcoming. Mac didn't want to admit it, but he was worried about Jack. 

And then Jack was there, knocking on his door. Mac knew it, he'd know the GTO's engine everywhere, and he could tell that Jack hesitated by the way he was going back and forth, hesitating before he knocked. 

Jack was nervous. 

…

Mac opened the door and let Jack in. It was hard not to look at the scar, since it was in a visible place, and Mac couldn't help but stare. His own scar throbbed when he remembered how he got it. It must have hurt as much when Jack got it. 

“Hey, hoss. Sorry to interrupt you. I… um… There is something we need to talk about. Something I should have told you about…” 

Jack cleared his throat, and looked away from Mac. He looked unsure and nervous and Mac felt for him. 

“Sure. Do you want a beer? I could light a fire, we can sit on the deck. It's nice weather tonight.” 

“Yeah, okay.“ 

They both headed to the deck. Mac handed Jack a bottle as he did good on his word and started a fire. Mac couldn't help, but notice that Jack wore one of his trademark leather jackets and his third favorite Metallica t-shirt. It was more like Jack, and less than the person he was when he was wearing the long sleeves. Which Mac thought it made sense if he covered his newly acquired scars.

_ Were there any other scars Jack didn't tell him about?  _

Admittedly Mac didn't  _ look _ past the neck earlier even though Jack didn't wear anything under the turtleneck. 

“There's this thing that… I haven't been able to make heads and tails of it, simply because it confuses me and it scares the hell out of me, about how he just knew.” 

Jack was still not looking at Mac, and Mac could see his eyes were glassy and clouded in the light of the firepit and it shook Mac to his core. 

He'd never seen Jack like this before. And in turn it was scaring him. 

“Murdoc… he, he left me with some scars. Remember how he said that he wanted to punish us?” 

“Yes.” 

“Well, taking me didn't seem to be enough for the creep-o, so he… uh, he told me that he planned this for a while. Called it gathering intel. And that you'd see what a freak I was every time you saw the scars because you had them as well, but that you-” 

Jack stopped, closing his hand over his mouth, and Mac realized that Jack started crying at some point. 

“He said that the scars looked pretty on you because of how you look. Your body and physique.”

“Jack…?” 

“He told me that he was going to replicate your scars on me. So that I would remember him. And for you to know that one man's beauty was another man's ugliness.” 

“That's bullshit, and you know it. Jack.” 

Jack smiled sadly.

“Yeah, I know that. But back then I was really fucked up. It was so soon after I came back and it made me think that if I wasn't able to stop him from taking me, what would stop him from getting to you. The way he described the way you look naked, Mac, that was scarily accurate. Not that I have stared at you unnecessarily, I am not a creep.” 

“I get what you are trying to say, Jack. So, he replicated some of my scars on you.” 

“Yep.” 

Without a preamble, Jack took off his jacket, and the t-shirt. It was the first time Jack looked at Mac and the anguish he saw in Jack's eyes was enough to make Mac scream.

“There's the two on your shoulder, one from Lake Como and the other from when he shot you.” 

Mac looked at the healed gashes and cuts among the other wounds Jack suffered in the hands of Murdoc and then he noticed the two new scars, close to one another. 

“He said that he didn't have the time or the space to recreate them as they were. He didn't want me dying before you found me, despite what he said on the phone that he would have no qualms about killing me.“ 

Jack extended his right arm in Mac's direction and Mac couldn't hold the gasp. He carefully took Jack's hand in his as he traced the scar that was on Jack's right forearm, on the inside. 

The exact same spot where Mac got that wound when he was in the “fake” prison with the Merchant. 

And now the neck scar made even more sense. And why it matched Mac's own down to the last detail. 

“I have matching scars on both thighs from when you were shot when you taught Bozer and Riley wilderness survival… and from back when you stabbed yourself with the scissors.” 

“Oh, Jack…” 

Mac was aware that his breath was wavering, but he didn't care. 

“I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I wanted to. But then… I didn't want you to worry. To think it was your fault. Because it ain't.” 

“Jack-”

“It's not your fault. I should have known better. I fell right into his trap.” 

“God help me if you say you deserved it. He just played with your head, Jack. He played with me as well. He played us all. We all fell in his trap.” 

“I don't know about that.” 

Jack's self deprecating demeanor bugged Mac so he took it upon himself to prove Jack that he was wrong. 

“Jack, you were taken by surprise. It happens. You were beaten and tortured and you came out of it alive.” 

“It feels like I'm still stuck there. With him. And I'm unable to stop him.”

“It's over now. We got him. You are safe. And just for the record, I don't care what he said about punishing us. It was all in his head. Playing his wicked mind game.” 

“He almost won.” 

“That's right. Almost. He almost won. We won't let him win. Not now, not ever.” 

“You really don't mind?” 

“Mind what? Your scars or that he copied mine?”

“Both?”

“Oh, Jack, of course I don't mind. What I think about actually is how that bastard knew so much about me and my scars, but I definitely don't mind.” 

“I was so scared about your reaction… I shouldn't have doubted you. Sorry.” 

“You were worried about my reaction, it's okay. I would have done the same probably if I were you.” 

Jack exhaled. 

“So… we good?”

“Of course we are good. Why wouldn't we be?” 

Jack looked still so lost and undecided that Mac made the first step this time. He came closer to where Jack was sitting and hugged him. 

Jack wrapped his arms around Mac and held on. Mac could hear Jack's breathing calm down and for the first time in a while, things felt okay. Not good, but definitely okay. And Mac was good with things being okay. As long as Jack was okay, too. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
